I'm so excited! Like, possibly weird excited... I placed an order on Amazon.com for a "Big Sister" shirt for M. We tried to find one locally, then tried making one with an iron-on because we wanted it asap, thinking we would use it to tell my sister and her husband about the baby when they planned to come to our house on the 4th. But the iron-on was a TOTAL failure. As soon as I washed it (per package directions) parts of it peeled off, and when M put it on, the material (of course) stretched and it tore the iron-on to pieces! Boo! So... I just sucked it up and bought one. :) My sister and hubby have already heard the news, but it will be a fun way to share with some other people down the road and a great way for M to get excited about it. She is actually already interested and has been saying she wants "baby Gwert" to come out and play with her toys. I seriously can't believe she hasn't spilled the beans yet. We saw her godparents yesterday and I thought for sure she was going to say something, but she got distracted. Phew! As far as I know, she hasn't said anything to her sitter yet, but then again, the sitter might just be too nice to ask until we bring it up. Fortunately, she's on vacation for the next two weeks and M will be staying with grandparents during the day, so there's one less place to spill it. :)
M was in the best mood this evening. We had so much fun. It's been a rough couple of weeks. She hasn't been sleeping well, meaning she's been up early and her naps have been short, and she just hasn't seemed to feel well. She would say her belly hurt, or her ear hurt, or her arm hurt, but never anything consistently. She would be fine one minute, then melting down about something that typically wouldn't bother her the next minute. She has also been doing A LOT of whining, and yesterday when I told her she needed to use her big girl voice (for the 100th time) she said, "Don't tell me that Mama!" Oy! We finally decided she was constipated, and, after treating that for a few days, she is back on a better schedule of dirty diapers and today is the first day she has seemed like herself (after a 3.5 hour nap to boot! Awesome!). Let me just say, it is so easy to appreciate what a happy girl she is when we've been missing that for a couple weeks! We played outside for the first time in weeks, since the heat has FINALLY broken! It has been in the upper 90s even up until it gets dark, so we have missed that! It was a great evening.
The hubby made a major grocery shopping trip this afternoon. We have started on a meal plan to make grocery shopping and meal prep easier, so he made a big trip to get us started. (Yes, I am a lucky girl to have a man who willingly does a lot of our grocery shopping!) Why is this relevant you ask? Well, I have an unreasonable fear of going to Walmart. Where we live, that's the best, cheapest place to do a one-stop shopping trip. I don't usually have this fear. It's not my favorite place to be, but typically there is no anxiety involved. But when I was pregnant with M, we did one of our big shopping trips, and spent a big chunk of the afternoon walking around the store, finding everything on our list. I was 26ish weeks pregnant and, by the end of it, was having a fair amount of low back pain. Not a big deal, just uncomfortable. So I went home and took a warm bath. The pain got worse and moved up towards my rib cage, and ended up being pretty intense. Over the next 10 days, that pain would come and go, getting progressively worse, until I was diagnosed with HELLP Syndrome on March 11 and M came unexpectedly into the world at 28 weeks, 1 day. Until very recently, maybe the beginning of this year, every time I entered into Walmart, I would think of that. I still do pretty often. I associate it with the beginning of the problems that led to M being born so early. That's not really accurate. I had had elevated blood pressure before then and was on blood pressure medication, although I had no other signs of pre-e. But for whatever reason, that is the moment I associate with the beginning of the end of that pregnancy. I know that it had nothing to do with Walmart, and likely even had little to do with being on my feet so long that one day. That may have been the straw that broke the camel's back, but I doubt it. I'm pretty sure it would have happened one way or another. The warm bath could have exacerbated the liver inflammation that was already coming on (in fact, I'm pretty sure it did, because both that time and a later time that I took warm baths I ended up in a lot of pain) but that wasn't the root of the problem. But, even though my logical brain knows these things, I find myself wanting to avoid doing any major shopping at Walmart now that I'm pregnant again. I did offer to go along today. I haven't even mentioned to my husband that I feel this way, mainly because I didn't realize it until he was there today. I'm sure if I tell him he will continue to be amazing and take over all the shopping for the duration. But I'm pretty sure I just need to get over it. I'll tell him about it, and maybe next time we'll go together, and I'll be more aware of how long I'm on my feet. They have benches, after all! Or I won't. It's not the hardest place for me to avoid for the next 9 months. Either way, this baby is going to be safe and healthy, and grow big and strong, all the way to term! And I'm pretty sure Walmart isn't going to be the deal-breaker.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Feelin' Good!
Over the past few days, the idea of having baby #2 on the way has been sinking in. I thought I would be more anxious, given our history, but actually, I'm just really excited! I just feel good about what is to come! I know there are no guarantees, but my goal is to enjoy this pregnancy as much as possible and to give this baby the healthiest start possible, regardless of how long he/she stays inside of me. I know that, on the off chance that baby should decide to come early, the healthier I have been the healthier and stronger he/she will be. But I feel good! :)
That being said, I know myself well enough to know that I won't feel so positive every day. Overall, I am a positive person, but I am also a realist. I imagine that most of the time I will feel happy and optimistic and good, but that, once in a while, the reality of the situation will overwhelm me. The possibilities may loom and I'll want to freak out. And because I want to deal with all of the emotions coming my way in the healthiest way possible, I have decided to work a therapist throughout my pregnancy to achieve that. My goal is to make an appointment to get established with someone in the near future, and then basically have them available so that I can make an appointment if needed. That way, when I do have the urge to freak out, I'll have some one to call and strategies to help me deal with it. I feel good about that decision, so now I just have to take the step of picking someone and making the call.
We have tried to simply explain what's going on to M. She's only two, so what she understands is pretty limited, but oh my gosh, it's so cute! When we told my Dad, we had her tell him, and she said, "Mama's pregnick!" We have been calling the baby Baby Squirt so that she has something to call it, and she pronounces is "Baby Gwert." In the morning and before bed we pray for baby to stay safe and grow big and strong, and the last two nights, when we were finished, she said, "I love Baby Gwert bunches and bunches!" That's a good way to bring tears to a mama's eyes! It just made my heart swell so big! I feel so blessed to be at a place in our lives where we can expand our family to four. I know it will be crazy, but it will also be so good!
On Monday morning, after finding out we were pregnant, I had three doctors to call: Dr P, who put me on the Clomid, Dr S, the RE, and Dr W, my MFM. I spoke with Dr P's nurse, who congratulated me and said she would let Dr P know. Then I called Dr S's office to cancel our infertility appointment. As much as I would have loved to go through with that appointment to get some questions answered, particularly about PCOS, I am so happy not to need it! I also called Dr W's office to set up my first prenatal appointment. For some reason, that had to be complicated. The first person who answered the phone sent me to the voicemail of someone who sets up new patient appointments because that's their policy for a new pregnancy, even though I'm an established patient. That person called back to update my information, but it was already up to date since I was just in there last month. The a third person, a nurse, called later to tell me that it's too early to do anything, but I should wait until I have missed my period be at least a week, which by my calculations is tomorrow, but by hers isn't until next Wednesday, 7/11. At that point, they will order blood work, see where my HCG levels are, and schedule my appoint and first ultrasound accordingly. That's all well and good, and I understand the reasoning behind it, but I sure would like to have an appointment on the books! I think I would just feel better knowing when that it is coming, but also, it would be nice logistically. My husband and I both have jobs that involve a lot of scheduling and, with notice, it's pretty easy to schedule around other things, but it's a lot harder without knowing in advance. Oh well, we'll make it work. :)
I'll leave you with the phrase that I have been repeating to myself and my husband daily. I warned him that he'll probably hear it a lot over the next nine months, but that I have to say it out loud. **This is going to be a long, healthy, perfect pregnancy!!!**
That being said, I know myself well enough to know that I won't feel so positive every day. Overall, I am a positive person, but I am also a realist. I imagine that most of the time I will feel happy and optimistic and good, but that, once in a while, the reality of the situation will overwhelm me. The possibilities may loom and I'll want to freak out. And because I want to deal with all of the emotions coming my way in the healthiest way possible, I have decided to work a therapist throughout my pregnancy to achieve that. My goal is to make an appointment to get established with someone in the near future, and then basically have them available so that I can make an appointment if needed. That way, when I do have the urge to freak out, I'll have some one to call and strategies to help me deal with it. I feel good about that decision, so now I just have to take the step of picking someone and making the call.
We have tried to simply explain what's going on to M. She's only two, so what she understands is pretty limited, but oh my gosh, it's so cute! When we told my Dad, we had her tell him, and she said, "Mama's pregnick!" We have been calling the baby Baby Squirt so that she has something to call it, and she pronounces is "Baby Gwert." In the morning and before bed we pray for baby to stay safe and grow big and strong, and the last two nights, when we were finished, she said, "I love Baby Gwert bunches and bunches!" That's a good way to bring tears to a mama's eyes! It just made my heart swell so big! I feel so blessed to be at a place in our lives where we can expand our family to four. I know it will be crazy, but it will also be so good!
On Monday morning, after finding out we were pregnant, I had three doctors to call: Dr P, who put me on the Clomid, Dr S, the RE, and Dr W, my MFM. I spoke with Dr P's nurse, who congratulated me and said she would let Dr P know. Then I called Dr S's office to cancel our infertility appointment. As much as I would have loved to go through with that appointment to get some questions answered, particularly about PCOS, I am so happy not to need it! I also called Dr W's office to set up my first prenatal appointment. For some reason, that had to be complicated. The first person who answered the phone sent me to the voicemail of someone who sets up new patient appointments because that's their policy for a new pregnancy, even though I'm an established patient. That person called back to update my information, but it was already up to date since I was just in there last month. The a third person, a nurse, called later to tell me that it's too early to do anything, but I should wait until I have missed my period be at least a week, which by my calculations is tomorrow, but by hers isn't until next Wednesday, 7/11. At that point, they will order blood work, see where my HCG levels are, and schedule my appoint and first ultrasound accordingly. That's all well and good, and I understand the reasoning behind it, but I sure would like to have an appointment on the books! I think I would just feel better knowing when that it is coming, but also, it would be nice logistically. My husband and I both have jobs that involve a lot of scheduling and, with notice, it's pretty easy to schedule around other things, but it's a lot harder without knowing in advance. Oh well, we'll make it work. :)
I'll leave you with the phrase that I have been repeating to myself and my husband daily. I warned him that he'll probably hear it a lot over the next nine months, but that I have to say it out loud. **This is going to be a long, healthy, perfect pregnancy!!!**
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Big News!
Oh how things have changed since my last post. And so very much for the good! I got my BFP yesterday (Saturday)!! Read: big fat positive pregnancy test! I was totally shocked! Friday morning I peed on my first stick and there was the faintest of faint lines, but I though "Surely that's nothing." Actually, with my first pregnancy, I remember using a cheap-o test and being able to see where the line would be, and I was sure that's all that faint line was. So what did I do? Dunked a second test in water for comparison purposes. ;) When that one didn't show any line at all, I definitely began wondering. My boobs have been feeling fuller since 4 DPO (days post-ovulation), and I started feeling really tired about midweek, but I attributed everything to being on my first round of Clomid and, let's face it, when you're a full-time working mom of a two year-old, it's hard to differentiate tired vs really tired. BUT when I re-tested Saturday morning the line was clearly darker! The hubs had to be convinced that these little Wondfo tests are really sensitive and accurate, and he insisted that I send a picture to my BFF, who I mentioned just got her BFP last week. I did, and when she called I answered the phone to lots of squealing. :) So he took that to be a positive interpretation.
So wow! We went from thinking our timing was rotten and having scheduled an appointment with an RE to being pregnant! I kept thinking, "Well, if God wants us to be pregnant, our bad timing isn't going to stop Him." So here we are!
Things have absolutely fallen into place. I was frustrated when my original RE appointment was pushed back to Tuesday, but had it been scheduled for Friday, they probably would have said, "Congrats! You're pregnant! $40 please!" Also, we were supposed to spend Saturday on the river. I was concerned about the 100+ degree heat, but we decided to make it a little shorter day and spend more time in the water, but the friend who was supposed to go along hurt his back, so we canceled the trip. Instead we spent the morning visiting our parents and telling them our exciting news. (Yes, we already told our parents. We're each close to our parents and wanted to share with them asap, although the rest of the general public won't know for a while). I was able to take a nap when M did too. Like I said, I'm already tired.
The third thing that fell right into place was getting my Lovenox shots from the pharmacy. Earlier in the week, I called my insurance to make sure I would be able to get them from Walgreens rather than via mail order, and was informed that they would only pay for 12 shots a month. I also needed a pre-auth, so I called my MFM and left it in their hands. When I called back the next day to check in, I was told that the insurance wouldn't pay for any at all until I was officially pregnant. My MFM insisted that I have the medication on hand so that I could begin taking it immediately upon getting a positive HPT. So I really needed to have it on hand. I took the prescription to Walgreens to at least get the process started, and, lo and behold, they filled the entire 30 day prescription for a $45 copay, which is what they said I would have to pay for just 12 shots! Hooray!!! So I was able to start my shots immediately yesterday morning. :) I actually had to run back to Walgreens for alcohol swabs, and ended up giving myself the first shot in the car. I had to force myself not to hesitate, but I did it! The bad news is that it hurt way more than the practice shot at the dr's office. Not the shot itself so much, but the medication. But not as bad as having to visit my baby in the NICU every day... Yesterday's shot left an ugly bruise and needle mark, but today's was a little smoother and I held pressure on it a little longer, and the result is much nicer.
You can see the darker bruise on the bottom of the picture and today's mark a little above and to the left. My belly is going to be beautiful... Looks like I'll be wearing a tank top over my swimsuit!
Tomorrow I will be calling the RE to cancel my appointment and my MFM to schedule a new one. Hooray! I may also call my regular OB to let him know that the Clomid was a success and that I am preggo!
Remember the friend who just found out she is also preggo? Well, her son is 3 weeks older than M and this time around, we're due 9 days apart! She's due March 3, which, amazingly, is the same day she was due with her son, and I am due March 12. And, because I like to keep it interesting, March 12 is just one day after M's birthday! My birthday is on the 8th and my dad's is on the 16th, so March is already a busy birthday month, and it's only going to get busier. Before getting pregnant with M, I had said that I would really like to have a March baby. Getting pregnant that June wasn't in the cards for us, but I (of course) was happy with our June due date when we did get pregnant. However, apparently the power of my suggestion was strong, because of course, she made her grand entrance in March after all. This time, I have been saying that I want to make it to 39 weeks and 6 days, because my MFM said he wouldn't let me go past 40 weeks and that because of my last c-section, they wouldn't induce labor if I don't start on my own, so if I go past 40 weeks it will for sure be a c-section delivery. But, as it turns out, 39 weeks 6 days is M's birthday! It's going to be interesting to say the least! But I'm excited to make it to March, and if that means that both my babies share a birthday, I am a-okay with it.
Here's to a full-term, healthy, and uneventful pregnancy! I'm talking myself up to it and, when I get nervous, just tell myself that this will be a long, healthy pregnancy with a healthy, chunky baby in our arms at the end. It will happen! All prayers are appreciated as we embark on this journey as a family!
 | |||
| Top: Friday's HPT; Middle and Bottom: Saturday's HPTs |
 |
| My Chart with Climbing Temps! |
So wow! We went from thinking our timing was rotten and having scheduled an appointment with an RE to being pregnant! I kept thinking, "Well, if God wants us to be pregnant, our bad timing isn't going to stop Him." So here we are!
Things have absolutely fallen into place. I was frustrated when my original RE appointment was pushed back to Tuesday, but had it been scheduled for Friday, they probably would have said, "Congrats! You're pregnant! $40 please!" Also, we were supposed to spend Saturday on the river. I was concerned about the 100+ degree heat, but we decided to make it a little shorter day and spend more time in the water, but the friend who was supposed to go along hurt his back, so we canceled the trip. Instead we spent the morning visiting our parents and telling them our exciting news. (Yes, we already told our parents. We're each close to our parents and wanted to share with them asap, although the rest of the general public won't know for a while). I was able to take a nap when M did too. Like I said, I'm already tired.
The third thing that fell right into place was getting my Lovenox shots from the pharmacy. Earlier in the week, I called my insurance to make sure I would be able to get them from Walgreens rather than via mail order, and was informed that they would only pay for 12 shots a month. I also needed a pre-auth, so I called my MFM and left it in their hands. When I called back the next day to check in, I was told that the insurance wouldn't pay for any at all until I was officially pregnant. My MFM insisted that I have the medication on hand so that I could begin taking it immediately upon getting a positive HPT. So I really needed to have it on hand. I took the prescription to Walgreens to at least get the process started, and, lo and behold, they filled the entire 30 day prescription for a $45 copay, which is what they said I would have to pay for just 12 shots! Hooray!!! So I was able to start my shots immediately yesterday morning. :) I actually had to run back to Walgreens for alcohol swabs, and ended up giving myself the first shot in the car. I had to force myself not to hesitate, but I did it! The bad news is that it hurt way more than the practice shot at the dr's office. Not the shot itself so much, but the medication. But not as bad as having to visit my baby in the NICU every day... Yesterday's shot left an ugly bruise and needle mark, but today's was a little smoother and I held pressure on it a little longer, and the result is much nicer.
 |
| First 2 Lovenox Shots |
Tomorrow I will be calling the RE to cancel my appointment and my MFM to schedule a new one. Hooray! I may also call my regular OB to let him know that the Clomid was a success and that I am preggo!
Remember the friend who just found out she is also preggo? Well, her son is 3 weeks older than M and this time around, we're due 9 days apart! She's due March 3, which, amazingly, is the same day she was due with her son, and I am due March 12. And, because I like to keep it interesting, March 12 is just one day after M's birthday! My birthday is on the 8th and my dad's is on the 16th, so March is already a busy birthday month, and it's only going to get busier. Before getting pregnant with M, I had said that I would really like to have a March baby. Getting pregnant that June wasn't in the cards for us, but I (of course) was happy with our June due date when we did get pregnant. However, apparently the power of my suggestion was strong, because of course, she made her grand entrance in March after all. This time, I have been saying that I want to make it to 39 weeks and 6 days, because my MFM said he wouldn't let me go past 40 weeks and that because of my last c-section, they wouldn't induce labor if I don't start on my own, so if I go past 40 weeks it will for sure be a c-section delivery. But, as it turns out, 39 weeks 6 days is M's birthday! It's going to be interesting to say the least! But I'm excited to make it to March, and if that means that both my babies share a birthday, I am a-okay with it.
Here's to a full-term, healthy, and uneventful pregnancy! I'm talking myself up to it and, when I get nervous, just tell myself that this will be a long, healthy pregnancy with a healthy, chunky baby in our arms at the end. It will happen! All prayers are appreciated as we embark on this journey as a family!
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